here and gone...

Its almost november...wow....that means im THAT much closer to my birthday, oh yes. :)

Well this weekend has been a little bit sad, for me at least. Don't get me wrong, it was a good weekend. I've just been down. The play ended Saturday night. It didnt start out so well. First off, I have never messed up a dance move since the beginning of the run of the show. So of course, the night that my parents are there I mess up on a dance move. I'm sure no one noticed, but it still bugs me. Ending this show made me a lot more sad than I thought it would. This was my first lead role in a musical, so needless to say I was more than a little attatched to it. Polly was nothing like me but in a lot of ways she was. She wanted a boy friend, I mean who doesn't, right? haha...I will miss playing her night after night...that is for certain. When the curtain closed on for the last time, I couldn't help but feel like someone had just ripped my heart out. There were so many people that were ecstatic about it being over, and it just really hurt my feelings. I just wish people would take into consideration other peoples feelings sometimes. I mean, I know some people just think theatre majors are the biggest slackers on earth, which there are a lot of slackers in the theatre world...but for those of us who really develop our character and do extra rehearsals...i mean, when I got this role I thought they had made a mistake. But because of Polly I have learned that I really can get any part I want. Before this show I couldnt sing soprano notes with confidence, I certainly couldn't dance, and I wasn't sure of myself. Now I know I can do all of these things. Each night before the show I would find a place where no one else was, and I would just pray for the success and enjoyment of the show...and everytime I prayed I could just feel the Lord give me this release and my tension would go away. So...not to bore you guys...but I really do miss the show. In non-theatre terms, just imagine someone giving you your favorite thing in the world and letting you keep it for a short while...and taking it away again. Thats how it feels...but there are other auditions and more musicals to audition for...so things will get better.

I was going to audition for NCTC which is a Theatre Conference. If you make it through those auditions you go on to audition for SETC which is even bigger. It gives you oppurtunities to find summer work with other theatres instate or out of state. It would be a great oppurtunity. I had almost all the paperwork filled out...but I hadnt prayed about it. I've prayed about it a lot this past week...and that just isn't where the Lord is leading me right now...He has something else planned for me, and for some reason I am getting pretty scared that it might be mundo vista again...we shall see.

I hope you all are having a fantastic week. Also a little side note, I am taking suggestions for birthday gifts, if you have something you want to give me for the celebration for the day of my birth, I am more than happy to tell you whether or not it is acceptable :) mmmkay? haha..!

ps: i just got a 4.000 dollar scholarship, woop woop for free money's! :) ha

hey heres a video of the show! i got like about 5 sets of 30 second clips from a friend backstage and spliced them together!! enjoy :)



be forwarned...i cannot dance...i don't really like this clip and i got it mainly to see what i need to work on...3 of them being : my weight, my dancing, and how i carry myself on stage...this video was an eye opener :-/

AHHH!!!

its opening night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-pics to come soon!!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

just a lil postage...

fall break was nice...what there was of it. i got to go home for a couple days *pictures on flickr*

went to elon with the choir, gorgeous campus up there.

i slept in for the first time in a looonngg time today, it was amazing. we had tech rehearsal tonight, pretty much all night. it went pretty well, my costumes are retarded but its ok.

got some new music this weekend...im a little obsessed with it right now, some old, some new stuff...Amos Lee, Beck, Bright Eyes, Cary Brothers, Coldplay, Colin Hay, Damien Rice, Elliot Smith, Everclear, Fiona Apple, Imogen Heap, Iron & Wine, Jack Johnson, Joshua Radin, Keane, Nick Drake, Postal Service, Ray LaMontagne, The Shins, Sufjan Stevens, Snow Patrol, Athlete, Rufus Wainright, Remy Zero, Schuyler Frisk

also a little obsessed with"The last kiss" soundtrack....sooo good.

anyway have a great week everyone...i'm definitely gonna be busy this week..dress rehearsal every single night!

OPENING NIGHT is this FRIDAY!!! AHHHH!! Keep me in your prayers guys!

adios. & peaceout.

fall break...sortof

so i got home last night around 11pm-ish .. after rehearsal was over. i hung out with my mom for a bit..i missed that crazy woman!! :) this morning i went to town with my mom, my aunt laura, and baby cousin madison...we went to the j-ville mall and of course no shopping trip is complete with out a stop at target...i got a very cute dress from the mall today, along with the perfect shoes..a few movies i wanted...and some moccasins, random but whatever...!! haha

so i have to head back tomorrow already :( i really miss just being at home and not having to worry about a thing. no homework, no stress, and plenty of hugs! i miss those especially...you never really get hugs at school, but even if i just walk into the living room i feel like i just have to hug my mom and daddy...i just really missed them more than i realized. this summer taught me a lot about myself, but i really realized this summer how much i love and depend on my parents.

anyways...! tomorrow i plan on sleeping in and then having lunch with my mom, my dad, my aunt, baby madison, and my grandma howard...after that...its time to load up the car and head back to the creek...well i have to make a pit stop @ moka joes, but then its back to the creek haha..

we have a choir thing on saturday morning...and then sunday will be spent in costume under really hot stage lights preparing for our full run and tech rehearsal....THE ORCHESTRA IS COMING ON MONDAY!! oh man i can't wait for that...i get chills just thinking about it, just the sound...it just makes everything so much fuller and alive, than just a few voices and a piano.!! its definitely my favorite thing about being in a musical...i am starting to get nervous, which is strange because i've grown up on the stage, i don't get stage fright...ever...i think i am nervous mostly about this being my first leading role...i want everything to be perfect...i am just so excited/anxious/wannavomit/happy/nervous all at the same time!! its very...odd, to say the least. everything is going to be perect though, and i just need to trust in God, that everything will work out!

i can't wait...!!!!

i could be happy with you...if you could be happy with...me!

me and the boys





















a few pics, singin with the gals!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

see i am slowly getting my dances down! ... everything is really coming together...and last night we decided to surprise our director and do or onstage kiss, completely unrehearsed...it was SO hard to keep a straight face hahahaha...good times

hope you all are having a fantastic week!! mwah! :)

Come on down!!

its almost time for our first official run-thru of the show!!! i can't wait. last night we had all our dance moves perfect, and we added in some blocking and the director just loved it. im just sooo pooped from all these rehearsals. we have choir sectionals in like an hour, so i am thinking that a nap sounds good right about now. its a funny thing about naps..when i was a kid i remember crying everytime my grandma (God rest her soul) would make me chicken noodle soup and put on the "Price is Right", because i knew after i finished my soup and Bob announced the winner, it was time for the dreaded nap. Now i would love nothing more than for that to be the only upsetting thing in my day, haha. I would give anything to have someone make me chicken noodle soup and watch price is right with and fall asleep. :) Gracious...ain't it funny how much we change.

it's a beautiful life...woah oh oh oh :)

so lately i have been a lot less stressed. my dances are really coming along. and some people in this world really know how to make me feel better about myself :) im very excited about the fact that before this musical i couldnt even do a jazz square without falling over, but not i can do not only a jazz square, but i can also do pivot turns and shasee steps and even a mean
pahdahbooray (that is not even how you spell it, but i have no clue how its spelled haha!) if anyone does, please let me know!

Yesterdays rehearsal were a bit frustrating because some people just arent very focused or positive about what we are trying to do. i hate when people are negative nancy's about everything, try and be a positive PAM! the lack of energy is really obvious, and it really brings down the show as a whole. i am really hoping and praying that people get their acts together and stop putting this show on the back burner and realize that when they accepted their part, they accepted to put this show as their number one thing to be involved with...the complaining needs to stop.

in other news...my high notes, oddly enough, are really starting to get easier...which is real good news, because I am an alto, i've always been an alto, i was born an alto..in choir im a 2nd alto...but now, i can basically hit notes of a 1st soprano. not really sure how that happened, but i am not complaining!! i've been drinking tea and honey like its my job. and i've also started getting much more comfortable with belting out a Bflat above the staff, and learning how to support it...its kindof fun to sing that high, makes me feel powerful!...but i do miss belting out some stuff ;)

I haven't quite decided what I am going to do for fall break. well first off it isnt really even a break for me. we have to come back early for choir, and then the day after that I have a very very looonnnggg tech rehearsal for the musical. i can't believe its almost here!!! :) i am quite excited about it!

well...thats about all i've got for this post. things are going well! i hope you have a wonderful tuesday!!



here are a few pics!

me in my new sweater!


my sissy's little baby boy :)


me and sarrrrah


im sucha hottie! :) haha what can i say?


she is abusive, freako!

He has set me free...

Turnin' molehills into mountains,
Makin' big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
afraid I'll try real hard, and I'll fail--
This is how it's been.
Till the day You pounded on my heart's door,
And You shouted joyfully,
"You're not a slave anymore!"
.....
You're free to dance-Forget about your two left feet
....

And you're free to sing-even joyful noise is music to Me....

You're free to love,'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I have set you free!


My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
it's Then You're singing to me, as You remove my chains-



Free from worry, free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile



thank you Lord. :)