jami leigh.

2007-06-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

It is Stephanie here, writing on James' blog. So pretty much she is the most amazing person i know. I don't know if you know it or not, but she has a gift to make people laugh and make people feel loved.

Right now she is reading a story called "Jamie and the Earthworms" to me. It is a story in her children's Bible. She is so funny reading and being goofy. She has such a gift to love children as well. Watching her this first week at camp was beyond amazing. She loves them...with God's love. And by the way, she can sing like one of those heavenly angels praising the Lord...and I believe one day she is gonna be on Broadway, showing Jesus' love to others...after all, Broadway is her name, being amazing is her game...

I love her a lot

and now for the weather..

2007-05-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

ha..

and just like that, im over it.

you make me smile so much! thank the good Lord above for you my handsome man :)

astonishing.

2007-05-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

i have never been broken up with....i am always the one who initiates it...always....and....the guy always ends up happy and i end up alone, a pititful mess to the end of a "relationship" ... i dont understand it, i dont know why relationships ruin me like they do...i dont know why i fall in love with any guy who pays me the least bit of attention....but every single guy ive dated has always ended up happier....and in a way i've always been bitter about it....just wondering, what happened....and why couldn't I, Jami, the Ex as it were, make it work......but i guess i shouldnt let it bother me. i mean, single-dom is something i've gotten to know very well, and i don't hate it... i just can't get my head around the fact that there is something, someone, somewhere, that has been going through the same thing, and i just want so badly to find that.....

not sure where that rant came from, but i feel better.

kinda.

--ciao, anyway.

2007-05-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

THIS MODERN LOVE - bloc party.

To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
You've been trying to reach me
You bought me a book
To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
I've been paid
I've been paid

Don't get offended
If I seem absent minded
Just keep telling me facts
And keep making me smile
Don't get offended
If I seem absent minded
I get tongue-tied
Baby, you've got to be more discerning
I've known never known what's good for me
I will be yours

I'll pay for you anytime

You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away
You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Jump right on
Baby, you've got to be more discerning
I've known never known what's good for me
Baby, you've got to be more demanding
I will be yours

What are you holding out for?
What's always in the way?
Why so damn absent-minded?
Why so scared of romance?

This modern love breaks me
This modern love wastes me

Do you wanna come over and kill some time?
Tell me facts, tell me facts, tell me facts
Tell me facts
Throw your arms around me

luke and i were talking about this album tonight...i came back and this song was playing on my iTunes. good ol' bloc party, always there to make you feel good...lol, or more alone, whichever! :)

how bout that?

2007-05-03T13:32:00.000-07:00

wow...has another year really gone by? man. its so weird. time just continues to move faster and faster the older we get it seems. i just finished with my exams for this semester, and now im getting ready for summer. another amazing summer working out in nature, in God's beautiful canvas...i am so excited for it. it'll be so amazing to not have to study all summer, with the exception of working my butt off (literally, and on my monologue).

this summer, i've decided that i am going to come back completely prepared for auditions. i am going to know this character (Jo March) inside and out, her whole life story. i will know all of her objectives for everything and her super objectives. my audition will be rehearsed in the camp office lobby area (where there is a piano) many, many times....i will walk in there with no regrets or know "what if i had practiced more". i want to give one of those auditions that will make them go, wow. she's got it. i've always just "winged" my auditions. i guess its because in highschool i never got any parts, but now where there are no politics...its just raw talent...i do get parts. and that frankly scares me. i want this part so bad i can taste it. i need to work on my movement and my characterizations. the biggest task is .... finding the Perfect monologue. i've got my song in the bag, no worries there. but the monologue is another thing. i talked to my favorite theatre prof. yesterday about monologues...and so that helped a Lot. now its just working on it, over and over and over again. i'll do that monologue a million times so that i know it backward and forward. i mean i know whatever happens, God has a plan for it...i just, i've never wanted a part so badly...!!!!!

sorry for that long shpeal....but i had to let out some frustrations!!!!!

ps: if you have any tips on a monologue, PLEASE let me know.

love always,

ciao!

its up to you new york, neeeewwww yorrrrkkkk

2007-04-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

today has been odd. i've not been in necessarily a "bad" mood, but an "odd" mood. i have often wondered what brings on "bad moods". is it our lack of energy, lack of sleep, lack of motivation, or did someone just piss us off? its a mystery. everyone is entitled to a bad mood now and again, so i guess today was just my turn . . . i've been listening to really good chill music these days and not getting enough sleep, so that could also be a couple contributing factors. i have never been so anxious for a semester to end in my life. this semester has been complete hell (as far as the school work goes). next semester will be so much more chill and full of good grades, i hope for the best! this semester i've been so busy with everything in the theatre, that i've barely had time to pay attention to school work this year. i mean im not failing anything as of mid-term, but its not quite where i'd like it to be, that sorta thing. i just can't wait to be back at Camp, where i can where gym shorts everyday and just be outdoors...i just love that mountain.

in other news..
in my acting 3 (styles) class, we are presenting our shakespeare scenes tomorrow afternoon. my scene partner and i worked on the scene today, and it went quite well actually. we had our professor sit in on our rehearsal and give us some pointers. i was excited that she liked it so much...becasue usually she doesnt like much of what anyone does haha.

the musical forecast...
i am currently listening to some of my favorite music as of now...and i feel like i should share this amazing music :) if you want chill, jazzy, smooth study music/date music try Ray LaMontagne. if you want good rhythmic, low key, granola eating music, try Iron & Wine (a favorite of mine for a while). if you are in a angry love mood, or just feel like being artsy try Damien Rice. and last but not least, if you are feeling like some good ben folds meets iron and wine type music try, Justin & Tomek. oh wait, one more, for some straight chill music try Cary Brothers.

well im going to go "study" some spanish...when actually...im watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and having some organic late night snacks. ahhhh this makes my day seem so much better already.

stay classy - till next time,

ciao!

howsa bout them apples.

2007-04-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

well i just read my latest post. and by latest i mean the post i put up about ehh 2 months ago? a lot has changed since that post. long story short i am no longer with the guy i previously mentioned, and i am currently sitting in my room next to my billie holiday poster, listening to pedro the lion, & having an organic granola bar and a wonderful smoothie from whole foods called "Naked". now get your little minds out of the gutter *shame on you*, its called "naked" because its completely all natural with 2 pounds of fruit in each bottle.

now that i have completely riveted you with the miniscule details of my life...

this past weekend and the coming weekend i am in a show called Scapin'. things are going really well, we've had standing ovations every night so far so we must be doing something right, eh?

this whole week is going to be so packed. monday night is the stage combat performance and show choir rehearsal, tuesday night is the show choir recital, wednsday night is the theatre banquet, and then every night after that til saturday is the show, and then strike on sunday...after that its nothing but exams. i also have 2 tests and a theatre history paper to write this week...wowzers. i just want to go ahead and thank in advance all the professors who like to just pack everything in, in two weeks. how delicious.

last night we had a really great cast party. we ended up watching a movie called Smoking Aces, it was really really weird...and somewhere between a glass of wine and one of the members of the cast getting sick (haha long story)...we ended up watching a charlie brown christmas and eating (by mistake) 2 year old peanuts. thats just how we party down here in the BC. but seriously, theatre parties don't get any more random.. woot.

anyhow, its laundry time finally...so i must attend to that crap and all its glory.

ciao!

well hey there..

2007-02-23T23:22:00.000-08:00

so...its been quite a while since this ol' gal has blogged, i guess you would say. im not sure why, its not that i didnt have anything to say...i think i was just waiting for the perfect moment. im obvioiusly thinking that 2am probably isnt the best choice, but when you have to write...you have to write.

since i've last posted...a lot of things have happened.
-i have a wonderful boyfriend who just makes me smile all the time...he's my best friend, can't ask for more than that can ya?
-i got a pretty decent part in a Moliere' play called "scapin' " ... should be interesting..
-i am camp mundo vista's new assistant worship leader & co-counselor...very exciting.
-i've lost 5 pounds, somehow...without working out...im thinking it must be stress or something of the sort.

im sure there are other things im leaving out...but we'll leave it at that for now.

lately i've been having this overwhelming feeling that i cant describe. i think its pre-graduation anxiety...granted i have 2 more years before i leave this university...but i still can't help but wonder what will happen afterwards. i want so much to be involved with theatre as much as i can, i dont want to be one of these majors that ends up working at Sears or behind the counter of a grocery store...i think i would be the most depressed person alive if that were me. i've been talking with one of our newest professors a lot lately about things to do after school...when he first came to CU i couldn't stand the man, i thought he was arrogant and just rude...but after talking to him and working with him, he has taught me so much in such a short amount of time. this man is soo educated and so good with getting his point across, plus he's hillarious so that always makes for a fun conversation. and, the best part is, i can be completely honest with him...he's not one of those professors that i'm like afraid to say "hey, i dont want to do that"..you know? its hard to explain..but yeah. i've got this anxious feeling like i have all this stuff i want to do...but it all coincides with something else, or is just a very inconvenient time...i want to do "this" show but its during a rough semester...i want to do 2 shows, but "this" show is during "this" shows rehearsals...i mean just thinking about it makes me feel stressed...

just keep me in your prayers and thoughts...i've got a lot on my mind lately...and once again i have way to much on my plate with no clue how to accomplish it all.

until we meet again,
ciao mi bellas

-jami leigh.

ch-ch-changes

2006-12-31T17:49:00.000-08:00

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

happy new year. time to start fresh.

thanksgiving!

2006-11-22T11:54:00.000-08:00

its SOOOOOOOOOOO great to be...

HOME! :)

HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!
eat lots o' TURKEY!

rain. . . ... another attempt at this "writing" thing....

2006-11-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

its raining outside
and she doesnt want to go
she sits at the window
as the rain trickles down the glass,
watching the drops as they fall
fall, fall, fall..

she knows she should try
to step out of this barricade of lies
but theres so many things,
holding her back,
excuses,
keeping her from stepping out

who wants to run in the rain
who wants mascara running down their face
she already has that and she doesnt know why
her heart is crying out
she cant help but cry...
for redemption

she knows His name
He knows her love
even though she doesnt show it enough
she is accepted and it scares her to death
how could someone love her, in all of this mess

-jami leigh-

i just sortof started writing...and this is what came out

2006-11-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

God doesnt expect us to be untarnished
the more we try to be this ideal supreme saint
the more we wander away from the real truth
trying to have the perfect this, the perfect that
its not worth it
his love for us is real
no matter our condition
no matter our sin
isnt it amazing..
sometimes i sit in bed and think
about his love and i cant hardly grasp it
the way i love my Lord is this
letting my praises leave my lips
all the way to my finger tips i love him with all i am
he loves us even when we dont love him
and when we try to be the things we're not
is he looking down on us thinking, poor child of mine
why do you strive so much to be this person
that isnt true that isnt real that isnt pure
why do we delay in this quest of whole heartedness
like if we let others in we aren't defending ourselves
what is there to defend against
the likelyhood of something hurting us is evident
the fact that we parade around under this shroud of
holier than thou attitudes, proclaiming we are followers
of the one true perfect and mighty God
king of kings, lamb of God, the good Shephard
if we would just allow him to guide us
would we be so quick to judge, of course not
we aren't to judge others, there is only one true judge of us all
and he sits at the right hand of our Holy Father
so in our virtuous quest to be pefection
i fear we have illuded to other non-belivers a different truth
that to love God one must be perfect, no don't let it occur
let us let love rule in our lives
let our love to others shine
predominantly
through out this rollercoaster,
life.

-jami

random..

2006-11-07T21:29:00.000-08:00

my sister is gorgeous.

(these are pics i took this weekend, im a pretty good photographer, haha)

this week has been good...lots of rain...pretty much uneventful...one test this week...we had a choir concert tonight, and my feet hate me right now from standing so long...a boy is taking me to see a movie this weekend, bout time! :)

hope your week is brighter and more eventful than mine!! haha

just amazing.

2006-11-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

today i took a drive to my sisters. i was amazed at the colors of the leaves. the trees are turning from green to browns and yellows and reds, beautiful...God is quite the artist.

sometimes its just crazy to think about. the same God that makes the trees, and the sky, and this beautiful earth we live on...loves each and everyone of us. sometimes in our hectic schedules and busy lives we seem to take it all for granted. as i was driving today i almost started crying. thinking about how much i've changed over the past year and how God has really put some special people in my life. i'll admit, i still have some growing to do...but at least now i'm growing more in Him.

even in this huge world...God still loves little ol' me...and well, thats just awesome.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i found this online...i think you'll like it....

...and the heavens rained golden leaves upon the earth
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever walked slowly through autumn woods, allowing your spirit to absorb the soothing rustle of falling leaves? If you listen closely, you can hear them brushing against every leaf on the tree as they swirl past them on their journey to the earth below, almost as though they are exchanging final high-fives in passing. High-fives for the storms of spring they've endured together. High-fives for the summer shelter they've provided. And high-fives in celebration of the beauty of life they've been privileged to share and, in turn, been privileged to give in the golden hues of autumn color. And now, on God's silent cue, they've released themselves to a final journey where they will settle together upon the ground and converge in an earthy fragrance of life releasing itself back into the earth. Life releasing itself to provide strength for new life--the circle begun again as each new generation passes into it's own spring. Life reborn, a whispered promise by God in the soft, rustling sound of leaves falling upon the ground.

Father, the circle of life dances around us as the awe of autumn's beauty unfolds before our eyes. We are reminded that the beauty of our life lies not in the birth, but in the storms we've endured, the shelter we have provided; and the glorious color we at last bring forth in the years before our life is complete. Let us be blessed in knowing, however, that the greatest beauty of our life is the promise you whisper in our ear as our days begin to fade; the promise of the strength we leave behind for each new generation to begin anew.
(c) Shirley Jones - published in Prayers from St. Philips

here and gone...

2006-10-30T11:25:00.000-08:00

Its almost november...wow....that means im THAT much closer to my birthday, oh yes. :)

Well this weekend has been a little bit sad, for me at least. Don't get me wrong, it was a good weekend. I've just been down. The play ended Saturday night. It didnt start out so well. First off, I have never messed up a dance move since the beginning of the run of the show. So of course, the night that my parents are there I mess up on a dance move. I'm sure no one noticed, but it still bugs me. Ending this show made me a lot more sad than I thought it would. This was my first lead role in a musical, so needless to say I was more than a little attatched to it. Polly was nothing like me but in a lot of ways she was. She wanted a boy friend, I mean who doesn't, right? haha...I will miss playing her night after night...that is for certain. When the curtain closed on for the last time, I couldn't help but feel like someone had just ripped my heart out. There were so many people that were ecstatic about it being over, and it just really hurt my feelings. I just wish people would take into consideration other peoples feelings sometimes. I mean, I know some people just think theatre majors are the biggest slackers on earth, which there are a lot of slackers in the theatre world...but for those of us who really develop our character and do extra rehearsals...i mean, when I got this role I thought they had made a mistake. But because of Polly I have learned that I really can get any part I want. Before this show I couldnt sing soprano notes with confidence, I certainly couldn't dance, and I wasn't sure of myself. Now I know I can do all of these things. Each night before the show I would find a place where no one else was, and I would just pray for the success and enjoyment of the show...and everytime I prayed I could just feel the Lord give me this release and my tension would go away. So...not to bore you guys...but I really do miss the show. In non-theatre terms, just imagine someone giving you your favorite thing in the world and letting you keep it for a short while...and taking it away again. Thats how it feels...but there are other auditions and more musicals to audition for...so things will get better.

I was going to audition for NCTC which is a Theatre Conference. If you make it through those auditions you go on to audition for SETC which is even bigger. It gives you oppurtunities to find summer work with other theatres instate or out of state. It would be a great oppurtunity. I had almost all the paperwork filled out...but I hadnt prayed about it. I've prayed about it a lot this past week...and that just isn't where the Lord is leading me right now...He has something else planned for me, and for some reason I am getting pretty scared that it might be mundo vista again...we shall see.

I hope you all are having a fantastic week. Also a little side note, I am taking suggestions for birthday gifts, if you have something you want to give me for the celebration for the day of my birth, I am more than happy to tell you whether or not it is acceptable :) mmmkay? haha..!

ps: i just got a 4.000 dollar scholarship, woop woop for free money's! :) ha

hey heres a video of the show! i got like about 5 sets of 30 second clips from a friend backstage and spliced them together!! enjoy :)

be forwarned...i cannot dance...i don't really like this clip and i got it mainly to see what i need to work on...3 of them being : my weight, my dancing, and how i carry myself on stage...this video was an eye opener :-/

AHHH!!!

2006-10-20T07:06:00.000-07:00

its opening night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-pics to come soon!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

just a lil postage...

2006-10-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

fall break was nice...what there was of it. i got to go home for a couple days *pictures on flickr*

went to elon with the choir, gorgeous campus up there.

i slept in for the first time in a looonngg time today, it was amazing. we had tech rehearsal tonight, pretty much all night. it went pretty well, my costumes are retarded but its ok.

got some new music this weekend...im a little obsessed with it right now, some old, some new stuff...Amos Lee, Beck, Bright Eyes, Cary Brothers, Coldplay, Colin Hay, Damien Rice, Elliot Smith, Everclear, Fiona Apple, Imogen Heap, Iron & Wine, Jack Johnson, Joshua Radin, Keane, Nick Drake, Postal Service, Ray LaMontagne, The Shins, Sufjan Stevens, Snow Patrol, Athlete, Rufus Wainright, Remy Zero, Schuyler Frisk

also a little obsessed with"The last kiss" soundtrack....sooo good.

anyway have a great week everyone...i'm definitely gonna be busy this week..dress rehearsal every single night!

OPENING NIGHT is this FRIDAY!!! AHHHH!! Keep me in your prayers guys!

adios. & peaceout.

fall break...sortof

2006-10-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

so i got home last night around 11pm-ish .. after rehearsal was over. i hung out with my mom for a bit..i missed that crazy woman!! :) this morning i went to town with my mom, my aunt laura, and baby cousin madison...we went to the j-ville mall and of course no shopping trip is complete with out a stop at target...i got a very cute dress from the mall today, along with the perfect shoes..a few movies i wanted...and some moccasins, random but whatever...!! haha

so i have to head back tomorrow already :( i really miss just being at home and not having to worry about a thing. no homework, no stress, and plenty of hugs! i miss those especially...you never really get hugs at school, but even if i just walk into the living room i feel like i just have to hug my mom and daddy...i just really missed them more than i realized. this summer taught me a lot about myself, but i really realized this summer how much i love and depend on my parents.

anyways...! tomorrow i plan on sleeping in and then having lunch with my mom, my dad, my aunt, baby madison, and my grandma howard...after that...its time to load up the car and head back to the creek...well i have to make a pit stop @ moka joes, but then its back to the creek haha..

we have a choir thing on saturday morning...and then sunday will be spent in costume under really hot stage lights preparing for our full run and tech rehearsal....THE ORCHESTRA IS COMING ON MONDAY!! oh man i can't wait for that...i get chills just thinking about it, just the sound...it just makes everything so much fuller and alive, than just a few voices and a piano.!! its definitely my favorite thing about being in a musical...i am starting to get nervous, which is strange because i've grown up on the stage, i don't get stage fright...ever...i think i am nervous mostly about this being my first leading role...i want everything to be perfect...i am just so excited/anxious/wannavomit/happy/nervous all at the same time!! its very...odd, to say the least. everything is going to be perect though, and i just need to trust in God, that everything will work out!

i can't wait...!!!!

i could be happy with you...if you could be happy with...me!

2006-10-10T10:01:00.000-07:00

me and the boys

a few pics, singin with the gals!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

see i am slowly getting my dances down! ... everything is really coming together...and last night we decided to surprise our director and do or onstage kiss, completely unrehearsed...it was SO hard to keep a straight face hahahaha...good times

hope you all are having a fantastic week!! mwah! :)

Come on down!!

2006-10-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

its almost time for our first official run-thru of the show!!! i can't wait. last night we had all our dance moves perfect, and we added in some blocking and the director just loved it. im just sooo pooped from all these rehearsals. we have choir sectionals in like an hour, so i am thinking that a nap sounds good right about now. its a funny thing about naps..when i was a kid i remember crying everytime my grandma (God rest her soul) would make me chicken noodle soup and put on the "Price is Right", because i knew after i finished my soup and Bob announced the winner, it was time for the dreaded nap. Now i would love nothing more than for that to be the only upsetting thing in my day, haha. I would give anything to have someone make me chicken noodle soup and watch price is right with and fall asleep. :) Gracious...ain't it funny how much we change.

it's a beautiful life...woah oh oh oh :)

2006-10-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

so lately i have been a lot less stressed. my dances are really coming along. and some people in this world really know how to make me feel better about myself :) im very excited about the fact that before this musical i couldnt even do a jazz square without falling over, but not i can do not only a jazz square, but i can also do pivot turns and shasee steps and even a mean
pahdahbooray (that is not even how you spell it, but i have no clue how its spelled haha!) if anyone does, please let me know!

Yesterdays rehearsal were a bit frustrating because some people just arent very focused or positive about what we are trying to do. i hate when people are negative nancy's about everything, try and be a positive PAM! the lack of energy is really obvious, and it really brings down the show as a whole. i am really hoping and praying that people get their acts together and stop putting this show on the back burner and realize that when they accepted their part, they accepted to put this show as their number one thing to be involved with...the complaining needs to stop.

in other news...my high notes, oddly enough, are really starting to get easier...which is real good news, because I am an alto, i've always been an alto, i was born an alto..in choir im a 2nd alto...but now, i can basically hit notes of a 1st soprano. not really sure how that happened, but i am not complaining!! i've been drinking tea and honey like its my job. and i've also started getting much more comfortable with belting out a Bflat above the staff, and learning how to support it...its kindof fun to sing that high, makes me feel powerful!...but i do miss belting out some stuff ;)

I haven't quite decided what I am going to do for fall break. well first off it isnt really even a break for me. we have to come back early for choir, and then the day after that I have a very very looonnnggg tech rehearsal for the musical. i can't believe its almost here!!! :) i am quite excited about it!

well...thats about all i've got for this post. things are going well! i hope you have a wonderful tuesday!!

here are a few pics!

me in my new sweater!

my sissy's little baby boy :)

me and sarrrrah

im sucha hottie! :) haha what can i say?

she is abusive, freako!

He has set me free...

2006-10-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

Turnin' molehills into mountains,
Makin' big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
afraid I'll try real hard, and I'll fail--
This is how it's been.
Till the day You pounded on my heart's door,
And You shouted joyfully,
"You're not a slave anymore!"
.....
You're free to dance-Forget about your two left feet
....

And you're free to sing-even joyful noise is music to Me....

You're free to love,'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I have set you free!

My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
it's Then You're singing to me, as You remove my chains-

Free from worry, free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile

thank you Lord. :)

too much

2006-09-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

lately i've been feeling a bit overwhelmed. unlike some people its not really classes that are overwhelming me, since i am a theatre major, that rarely happens. its the musical and people in general that are doing it to me...i've really been trying not to let things get to me, or bother me at all...but, it hasn't really been working. the musical is coming along...i just keep getting really tense with all the dancing and the high notes and the people in it. one thing i cannot stand is when people try and do someone elses job, that has bugged me since i was a little kid. i think sometimes because im so nice i just let people push me around, even when im older than they are...also something that has bugged me since i was younger. i think because i am the youngest, i've always had this inner-instinct to try and act older than i am, but i think it just comes off as immature to some people, which is not what i want. but anyway, thats a completely different story. the other things that has been on my mind lately is feeling like a bad friend. i personally don't think i am, but its hard to feel like a good friend when there are so many people around constantly telling me the opposite. getting mad at me for not hanging out with them all the time, and just really minute things like that. i hate when people take one little thing and turn it into something else...i mean, i am doing my best. i've got a lot on my plate right now, i just wish people would understand it. another thing i've decided is that, there are no guys at campbell that remotely interest me, or are interested in me...i mean there are a couple, but i, in no way, reciprocate the emotion. which has always been the case with me, when a guy is really into me, about 90% of the time, im not into him... when i look around at other people on campus, and there are definitely a few strange ones and they have a significant other...i mean i think im pretty attractive, and normal...so, what is the problem. it bugs me because, when i was sortof back-sliding, i had tons of guys that were interested in me...but now that im growing closer to God, there isn't one in sight...what is He trying to teach me? i hope its not patience, because with all the weirdos i have dated in my lifetime i am pretty sure that i've learned patience and how to be strong willed. so what is it? i pray about it nightly, for the Lord to send me someone...i know it'll happen in His time...and like i've said before...it will seem "last minute" to me, but God doesn't have a "last minute" he's known all along and whatever happens is His will...and i have to start trusting that more instead of thinking too much. i think too much.

totally great.

2006-09-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

so...this week has been very tiring, and its only tuesday. whenever i'm feeling like this, i find that musicals, hot tea, and good quotes to warm the heart, are good pick-me-ups. i am currently drinking some oh-so-fabulouso organic green tea with bits of mandarin orange in the tea bag, its ammmazing. I've been thinking a lot lately, especially while i've been working out like its my job. i've found that when i'm running on that elliptical about to keel over and pass out, that my mind is the most open to wandering and thinking about the most random things...in a good way though. so many times we all get so caught up in what we are doing, like a routine, that its hard to just stop. and feel. now, i am not one to be overly emotional, but as i am getting older and maturing, that things that used to be so minute in my thoughts, has now become a huge part of what i care about and what i think about....all of this is good though, its really good. i used to think that people that thought all the time, and pondered everything under the sun, were just crazy hippies. well i've turned out to be quite the hippie thinker then, if that is the case. everyone's starting to notice...i used to hide my emotions so much, to the point that it would really cause me to breakdown on the inside...a lot of it had to do with my self-esteem problems that i've been dealing with since i was about 12 years old...middle school really ruined me..i'm pretty sure that i want my kids homeschooled or something during those years, it was dreadful...but i am definitely becoming more aware of my emotions, how i am feeling about things, how others feel...i think its a bit of my maternal instinct coming out that i developed over the summer...my closest friends are one of my most prized possessions, i keep them so close to my heart now...i used to take the whole "best friend" thing for granted..for soo many years. now, its like they are apart of me, apart of my everyday life...without them, all these discovering, and emotional growing of my spirit and my heart would be a lot more lonely :)

whew...that was definitely a different kind of post haha...
well tonight i didn't get to work out, poot. but..we do have a whole hour of dancing tonite and we had it last night too...its real tough haha but i know i'll get it, eventually...i hope everything with you all is going fantastically!!! :) much love. always, me.

beautiful weekend...

2006-09-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

this weekend was really nice. i hung out with my friend Carl. we went to downtown wilmington, and it was AWESOME.!!!. they have the best shops down there, my favorite is one called "Edge of Urge" i got a really sweet t-shirt...its hillarious click HERE to see it :)

then...we went to go see my baby Jad :) he lives in wilmington too, he goes to UNCW it was great to see him!

we came back saturday night-ish...then Sunday morning, Carl & I went to church. I really like that church, its very chill :) we got some lunch at the cafeteria with a few friends afterward...i worked out like a crazy woman sunday too...definately going back today, woo hoo!!

last night i hung out with my little sarah friend :) haha...i missed her this weekend...so we ate hummus and chatted about our weekends...got breakfast this morning...she said she could tell i was losing some weight, so that was exciting, cause i don't feel like i have but hey! :) haha maybe i am...hmmmm haha

alright...so i often get addicted to the dumbest music....and this time its a musical, called
Ragtime: The Musical ... it is ammmmazing tho!
*click that link!!*

okay...well im off to science lab :-X grrrrr ...then i get to work out, YAY! woot woot.
have a lovely day, mwah!
much looove.

rehearsals!!! :) ... and a few baby pictures

2006-09-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

so rehearsal is getting into FULL swing...and...i am LOVING it.

a couple pics of joanna & I rehearsing (madame dubbonett & polly browne) :)

Jo, Dr. Morrow at the piano, & Charles (madame dubbonett & percival browne, me fathah)

One of the stage managers...haha good gracious

Joanna & I...obviously hard at work :)

oh and to make this a bit more random....here are some baby pics of me, when i was a little manateenee :)

now i am off to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep :) night night all

fun reekend!! :)

2006-09-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

sit on the rurtle...? :)

this past reekend (weekend) was a really fun time...I went home with sarah this weekend to surprise her daddy for his birthday. we got there friday night and rang the doorbell and hid next to the door, his face was priceless haha...he was quite surprised, even if momma fergy did let a few things slip earlier that day like, "i've got to get the pillows ready for the girls" haha...precious :)

Sarah's aunt, & Chris and Lauren the happy couple :)

me and momma fergy

I got to hang out with the whole Ferg family :) they are great, love them. I met a lot of people this weekend from friends at her dads birthday party, and her aunt and uncle from alabama, to people at her church. I got to see Chase this weekend too, he's a sweetie :) he gave me a tshirt and sarah was real jealous haha, just kidding (rust ridding) :)

sarah didn't make those, just incase anyone was wondering :)

it's not frosting, it's art... :)

me and lauren...this is a real good pic, if i do say so myself! :) pretty ladies!!

Sarah's sister Lauren is great, we get along really well and we make really good funny cooky weird faces...and then take pictures of them haha...I'm really just friends with sarah so i can hang out with her awesome family, :) jk, but they are great...Her sister Maryn is cool too, and she has an ammmmmmmazing voice. She sang "Battle Hymn of the Republic" at church the other day....i was in shock, Sarah had to pick my jaw up off the floor and basically reattach it.

me and momma fergy! :)

I of course love sarahs parents too, they are hillarious...her mom calls me her little manateenee

:) ohhh yea... and I guess sarah is okay too :)

the ride home...ahhh goodtimes :)

i was trying to dance like sarrrrah...it just turned into another jami face tho :)

On a different note....Sarahs grandmother passed away yesterday morning...
You are all in my thoughts and prayers. She is in a better place and she is at peace. I love you all. :)

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

2006-09-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

i definately got THE LEAD IN THE MUSICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

how excited am i???? .... well lets see, on a scale of 1-10...im at about a 25!!!!!

i am Polly Browne in "The Boy Friend" .... i am sooooooo blessed beyond words, I can't wait to see what oppurtunities God is going to give me next!! He is so amazing!!! ... I've decided that I'm not going to change my major after all...and that I am going to try out for either Straw Hat - theatre company for the summer...or NCTC - north carolina theatre company....my profesors were very impressed with my voice and acting...and they have NO doubt that I can make it :) :)

When God closes a door he definately opens about 10 windows :) :)

thats all for now!!! i'm ouuuut.

much love!!!!
-jami-
aka - polly browne ;)

if i do not love, i am nothing.

2006-08-03T16:54:00.000-07:00

1 corinthians 13
...read it...

last nite something really awesome happened...one of my girls was crying...so i took her out of worship...and she said "well im a little bit homesick but its something else too"...and she said that she didnt know what being a believer or being saved meant....and we talked about it, and we are gonna talk about it again tonite...she says she wants to be saved...so we are going to pray about it...and make sure thats what she is supposed to do...shes 10...i was crying so much last night, it was amazing to see God moving in someone so young....i get goosebumps just thinking about it...i talked to her last night about it, about what being a christian means, and what Jesus did for us...and how awesome being a Christian really is but that it isnt always easy...and its really not...so my good friend Allison, also the asst. camp director and I talked to her a bit more....it was just one of the most moving things i've ever experienced....

this morning....Allison comes into my room and says "Jami your sister is in Labor!" and i shot up out of my bunk and said "SHUT UP! SERIOUSLY?!?!" i took my girls to breakfast and hurried up to the birthing center...yes my sister being amazing and liberal like she is, had her baby completely natural..little Ronin Alexander was born @ 7:30 AM-ish this...7.5 pounds, 20 inches long...most beautiful baby boy/nephew, this aunt could ask for...YAY im an AUNT!!!...so anyhow im at her house now...my mom, aunt laura, and baby cousin madison just left....its been a great day...

ya know...i asked the Lord at the beginning of this week to provide me with patience and a blessing...and he's given me all of that and more....His love, and how He provides is like no other...amazing love

quite.

2006-07-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

well...3 more weeks left of camp now. i can't wait. just a little FYI:
i love my job...i love what i do up there...i love how God is moving and changing my life and the lives of those children
what i dont' love is hypocrits...there are so many people working there....that remind me of people from church when i was growing up....they were the reason i stopped going to church, they were the reason i constantly felt like there was a popularity contest to win in sunday school...i can't stand it when i see people preaching and saying this and that, and then doing the exact opposite...people being there and helping...but not there for the right reasons...the people that are there for the inner glory and praise of others...not there to glorify God and to teach others about Him....not to Praise Him and do things in his name....people that backstab....people that start drama....i mean i seriously feel like im on crazy pills there...honestly...its so annoying....i am ready to get back to reality...aka CAMPBELL!!! where people actually make me laugh....im excited about this coming weekend too Amanda is coming home with me, woot woot! we are getting away from the mountain for a while!!! ... im at my sisters house right now...she is sooo pregnant haha...she could pop just about any day....

we had a grand day today...my mom, my aunt, my baby cousin, my sister, and myself went around town all day. we went out to eat, hung out at the hotel, went to this amazing authentic greek resturaunt for Crepes...mmmmmmamzing!...

and im def. not losing weight at camp like i thought i would...i think i've firmed up....but...thats about it, i've gained muscle....grrrr....oh well....haha

i got some grrrreat shirts this weekend, some Life Is Good t-shirts.....im hoping to get some mail this next few weeks...i havent gotten much at all since i've been there :( but...oh welll lol ... im just not loved i suppose...haha....

ok for now im going to peaceout....mwah latahs

ahhhhhh camp

2006-07-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

so this week was pretty much the best week ever...my girls were just amazing, i hated to see them go i must say. they were so beautiful and caring. they just loved me too. i sang to them each night, i played in most of the worship services this week, and i did most of the bible studies and devotionals. i had so much fun, and as each day passes i am getting closer and closer to the Lord. things are really flowing now...and i love it!...and school starts in like 30 days!!! yay! i am having soooo much fun at camp, i am learning so much from these kids. i know we are supposed to be teaching them, but its like we learn more from them than i think they learn from us sometimes :) its just awesome.!!!....i've posted some lovely little pics, including this week too, on Flickr. check them babies ouuuttt.

love love,
meeeeeeee.

hullooo

2006-07-09T06:49:00.000-07:00

soooo only like 4 more weeks til its back to campbell!! :) yay!! i cannot wait either...

camp is going well, and im enjoying every minute of it...for the most part...this past week was full of...me worrying about things and being unsure...but you know what? ... you just have to give it all to God...he's the only one that can really make you feel better and sure of yourself at a time like that.

i've uploaded just about every picture i own onto yahoo photos so be sure to check that out :)

sooooo not really in the blogging mood at the moment haha...silly me
so im going to go to panera bread and grab an organic breakfast with my sister...hope all is well with you guys :) mwah!
laterdays :)

stufffffffffffff....!!!

2006-07-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

saygoodnitengo.shutterfly.com/action/?a=0EbM2zNq1ZMXFQ

there are some random pics....wooooot!

camp mundo vista is great fun!!

2006-06-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

i made a balloon animal...

at the outdoor chapel with amanda & kay

the girls from my drama 1 class...im in there somewhere

me and robyn

me & kay

one of my favorite girls from Drama, she was awesome...we did improv one day and she got up there and was rambling on like she'd been acting for years, watch out Dakota Fanning! :-)

our theme:
the girls from my cabin...

my favorite camper, Kelsea!

robyn & grace @ worship

walkie talkie it up!

this amazing missionary Rachelle from Thailand

i could be from Thailand...

kelly & myself :)

some of my fellow counselors at the closing celebration

kelly, me, and abbie...is it friday yet??

all my girls at our last breakfast!

abbie, tammy tate our director, and me!! i love them :)

just read abbie's shirt

rachele let her girls pick out her outfit that morning....mwhaha

way awesome missionary from China...shes been there since the 70's

drama 1 gals

me & abbbbbie-dabbbbie-dooo
me, courtney, and kelly

this precious little girl named Fallon

robyn & me

me, kay, & amanda

the cabin:

yeahhhhh

2006-06-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

so camp has officially started...im still looking for the reason God has sent me here...but i think im beginning to figure it out....a mom has already called and said something about the way i handled her child crying...the mom wouldnt leave...so it was a hard situation but she left smiling...i'm guessing she was "child sick" once she got home and she just harped about it...it was stupid and the camp director was like...its okay haha...i love our director!!

but i'll have pics coming this weekend and stuff!!! woot!!
leave comment(s)

omgosh......

2006-06-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

okay just a quick post from camp...more to come! :)

but the things the Lord is doing here at this camp is just amazing...the little girls get here this coming monday and all this week we are preparing for their arrival anxiously!!!...AHHHH!!!! i cannot wait...this place is just...wow....i mean all our worship services are just...the Lord is all over the place...you can just feel Him everywhere and I am just amazed. I have met some truely amazing people here and we have all cliqued really well...especially us campbell girls!! i haven't had much homesickness thank goodness...and there was a few moments when i was like Lord is this what I am supposed to be doing this summer, am I equipped to do this and teach these young girls about You..?....and now I have no doubts...i Prayed last night and there are no doubts in my mind that this is what i am supposed to do...so just a few prayer requests ...
-for the camp counselors to be able to handle their roomates and their bible studies
-for the young girls coming here to be open to what He has in store for them
-for Sarah at her camp, she is such a blessing and I know that she will truely bless the children at her camp.
-for my mom...to not miss me too much :) cause i do miss her bunches

okay bloggers...aka lauren and sometimes sarah, cause thats the only ones who read this...haha

love ya much!!!
-nite nite-

soooo yeah lol

2006-06-09T22:08:00.000-07:00

we are doing this musical this coming semester....

The Boyfriend

i don't really know too much about it...what part i hope to get...i mean of course i am hoping for a lead, and i'll more than likely get one...or so i hope...you can never tell about that...hopefully i'll get the part of Polly or Madamme Dubonnet...after losing weight this summer, maybe i'll be able to dance better haha cause i hear theres quite a lot of dancing in this one...

so you all know im a bit of a musical theatre...well...ALL theatre...DORK....completely....but i just thought i would remind you all so that you DON'T FORGET......

THE TONY AWARDS
come on SUNDAY NIGHT!!!!

some of the categories i am most interested in are......

Best Musical:
The Color Purple The Drowsy Chaperone Jersey Boys The Wedding Singer

Best Revival of a Musical:
The Pajama Game Sweeney Todd The Threepenney Opera

Best Performance by an Actor in a Musical:
Michael Cerveris in Sweeney Todd
Harry Connick, Jr. in The Pajama Game
Stephen Lynch in The Wedding Singer
Bob Martin in The Drowsy Chaperone
John Lloyd Young in Jersey Boys

Best Performance by an Actress in a Musical:
Sutton Foster in The Drowsy Chaperone
LaChanze in The Color Purple
Patti LuPone in Sweeney Todd
Kelli O'Hara in The Pajama Game
Chita Rivera in Chita Rivera: The Dancer's Life

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical:
Danny Burstein in The Drowsy Chaperone
Jim Dale in The Threepenny Opera
Brandon Victor Dixon in The Color Purple
Manoel Felciano in Sweeney Todd
Christian Hoff in Jersey Boys
Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical:
Carolee Carmello in Lestat
Felicia P. Fields in The Color Purple
Megan Lawrence in The Pajama Game
Beth Leavel in The Drowsy Chaperone
Elisabeth Withers-Mendes in The Color Purple

Best Original Score (Music and/or Lyrics) written for the Theatre:

Music & Lyrics: Lisa Lambert and Greg Morrison for The Drowsy Chaperone
Music & Lyrics: Brenda Russell, Allee Willis, Stephen Bray for The Color Purple
Music: Matthew Sklar - Lyrics: Chad Beguelin for The Wedding Singer
Music: Andrew Lloyd Webber - Lyrics: David Zippel for The Woman in White

Best Play:
The History Boys The Lieutenant of Inishmore Rabbit Hole Shining City

Best Revival of a Play:
Awake and Sing! The Constant Wife Edward Albee's Seascape Faith Healer

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Play:
Samuel Barnett in The History Boys
Domhnall Gleeson in The Lieutenant of Inishmore
Ian McDiarmid in Faith Healer
Mark Ruffalo in Awake and Sing!
Pablo Schreiber in Awake and Sing!

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Play:
Tyne Daly in Rabbit Hole
Frances de la Tour in The History Boys
Jayne Houdyshell in Well
Alison Pill in The Lieutenant of Inishmore
Zoë Wanamaker in Awake and Sing!

AHHHH!!! I can't wait!!!!

-well it is time for bed now! i leave for camp in......one more day now!!! WOOT!!! :) :) :) i'll be posting lots from camp too!! but for now, comment it up!

. . . peace & love . . .
...oh..and this too...

gooo

2006-06-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

im just gonna go ahead and say that i hate buying swimsuits....so there that is

to catch you up about my life the past couple days....
~i leave for camp in THREEEEEE days!! im so excited!
~a couple nites ago carley and riley stayed the nite it was fun :)
~sarah called me, we talked for like an hour and a half, about....everything
~carl called me last nite and we talked about .... everything too haha
~im goin with carley today to drop off some things at Goodwill before i leave
~and....thats about it

~~~~~~~~FUN TIMES TO COME! .... i cannot WAIT til camp! :) yay!~~~~~~~

sorry this is a boring one...but what can ya do, dang. haha

YAY goooood DAY!

2006-06-04T16:37:00.000-07:00

today was .... perfect, completely perfect.

carley and i took a little road trip to the smithfield outlets this morning
*flashback to last nite*
last night she stayed the night with me. i blew up the big ol' aerobed which i suggest everyone have, it is awesome. we watched the series finale of Will & Grace 'tear', and then The Producers... it was a great night
*flashforward to today*
my mom made us breakfast...we left and headed up to I-40 to get to the outlets!! we got there and walked around...we went to the Bible Factory Outlet Store and i got a Green Leather bound bible and its the right translation i wanted and everything! plus it was a lot cheaper, they were having a huge sale....after we just kinda walked around, went to random stores...we went to a kitchen gadgets store, I LOVE THEM, and i got my mom some Barefoot Contessa stuff - she is way excited...then we got a snow cone...and walked around to some more random stores...we walked back to get the car so we could drive to the new part of the outlets, this place is MASSIVE...we went to the Shoe outlet (aka my graceland) i found the most AMAZING SHOES THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN AND THEY ARE ALLLLLL MINE!!! :) :) :) :)
here they are....ALLLL MINE I SAY!

and besides the fact that NO one else has these shoes, and besides the fact that they are complete comfort/heaven to my feet...the best part of the whole deal is this: they are also COMPLETE vegan shoes, this pic was next to them on the website...

ya gotta love ROCKET DOG shoes...my new obsession....LOVE them

then we walked around to some other stores...i managed to walk out of Banana Republic AND Gap with nothing, i was proud...quite an achievement for me...we went to the Polo outlet, blah i felt like a bum in there hAHA whatever, they dont have awesome shoes like Jami dooes! :)

we went to a Fossil store too...and i got this awesome shirt that has a tree and a heart embroidered on it, and it says "have you been hugged today" I LOVE RANDOM SHIRTS!! :)
i tried to find the one that i got today, but there isnt a pic sadly enough...oh well haha

so today was alot of fun, i wish i had take pics but like an idiot i forgot my camera..

in oother neeeews.....
-im leaving a day earlier for camp so i can spend a day with my sissy!! :) yayyyy!
-im going up to Campbell this week to see my friend Shawn, get a bite to eat with him, and grab a few campbell shirts to represent @ camp! woot! haha ... hoping for sales, hollerrr
-going to the beach/downtown wilmington with car-car this week sometime
-having a girls day out with my mom, my aunt laura, and baby cousin madison- to get lunch and stuff
-FINALLY going to see OVER THE HEDGE with the mama!!! i am sooo excited, that sOMEone finally wants to see this movie!!

ps: I CAN'T WAIT FOR CAMP!!!!

pss: sorry for the last post...it was completely depressing...im good now...everything is cool...pms is really a kick in the face sometimes :)

hmmm melancholy much?

2006-06-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

so today has been a weird day...i tried to sleep in extra late so the day would go by faster, and i woke up at 10am...then talked to my grandma for like an hour, as soon as i woke up basically...grrr haha

then i was on my way to the gym, when my friend bryan called me...so we decided to hit up some random thrift stores, found some pretty cool shirts...

afterwards i came home and had dinner with mi familia...momma did it up right, as usual!
i washed up the clothes i bought...and tried the shirts on with some shorts and stuff for summer attire...and thats when my "fat" day began...like some days i feel smaller...other days i feel like a whale.

i am hoping SO much that i lose weight at this camp...i mean i really think i will...i'll be constantly moving, the food is awful, i'll be outside all the time, doing crunches and what not in my room, drinking tons of water...i hope i lose some...i'm really hoping about 20 pounds...thats about 10 pounds each month, i can do that...i want to be a size 10 by the time i go back to school....only two sizes down from where i am now...im gonna PRAY that that happens lol

anyway...so all day today i've just thought about how much i miss people...and how it hurts to not have them here. i never moved around as a kid, we lived here all my life and that was it...and now the people that i used to see every waking moment of everyday, arent here...and its really weird...i know once camp starts it will make the time go by super fast, and i am SO excited that 2 of the girls i know from campbell will be there...but i still am looking forward more than anything, to August 18th...move in day at CU ... then it will be back to movienites/sleep-overs with the dragon, driving around lillington & belting out broadway music with carl at midnight when we should be studying, going to wendys for frosty's MMMmm, lunch with cam-cam and carl, choir, the musical will be starting up....just so much to look forward to...and i cannot wait.

...is it august yet?

i love....music.....i love.....lamp

2006-06-01T20:34:00.000-07:00

so this is a random post from, well ... me

here is some new music i stumbled upon....i likes it
-mute math
-my morning jacket
-the ditty pops
-the new dixie chicks CD...i despise country, but as i've said before, its good stuff
and if you've never heard of Imogen Heap....DO IT! she is amazing, my favorite band right now :)

some movies i've watched as of late...and was impressed with all three
-brokeback mountain
-the producers
-in her shoes

some things i bought...
-zoolander on dvd, WOOT!...i feel like im taking CRAZY pills!!!?!
-a green track jacket
-some green undies
-some green pants
....ps: i love green, more than......well it fails in comparison to anything haha

somethings i've made...
-manatee cookies
-some letters and things to friends
-a mess in my room
-lesson plans for camp :) hehe

some things i miss...
-sarah
-carl
-school
-singing
-theatre kids

some things i'm looking forward too..
-camp
-shopping this weekend with carley
-meeting new people next week @ camp
-going back to school in august
-going up to MD again
-seeing my sissy next month!! :)
-my sister having her baby, Ronan Alexander ... how awesome is that name!

well thats bout it for me :) love, peace, and green-ness

manatee cookies!!

2006-05-31T18:10:00.000-07:00

soooooo here we go....

the cookies!!!

i made them allll by myself :) hehehe

well...almost all by myself hehe
i had to reassure clifton, my manatee, that these were in fact sugar cookies and not Made of manatee's....oh clifton, you crazy thing

goodness...making cookies are HARD!!! betty crocker gets mad props from me

they's a-cookin...dang ovens are about the most unattractive things ever...and that oven is pretty dang new

the first batch...got a little crispy on the edges...hehe oops...

heres most of them...haha there was more baking but i forgot to take another pic..but YUMM they are certainly GOOD!

manatee cookies yo...
so i basically loves sarahs mom a whole lot for getting me these cookies.
plus the bag was green...and did i mention they are MANATEE cookies :)
too bad little sarrrrah wasnt here to make them with me, boo!
haha...
so tonite was movie night with the mom...we just watched Brokeback Mountain-pretty depressing, but real good, i LOVE focus-feature films tho what can i say...
now we are about to watch the producers, hollerrrr.

haha ok bloggers...that is allll for tonite, comment it UP! :)

the more you know...womp WOMP haha

2006-05-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

random fact to start off this blog...but, i was watching NBC tonite...and i saw one of "the more you know" commercials...those commercials, are a little redundant, in my opinion...a little on the conservative side.

in other news, i saw the new dixie chicks video today. and let me just say, i loved it. those girls really put it to the American public...i mean, just because they are famous doesnt mean they aren't allowed to voice their opinions. America has this thing about, if someone is famous, they should do their job and keep their mouths shut about anything else...like famous people aren't allowed to form opinions...one of the country stations here in town even "banned" the dixie chicks music from being played on their station...oh That will get them...thats like when the US got mad at the french, and we came up with "freedom fries" and "freedom toast"...anyway...i think what the dixie chicks did was pretty great, it took a lot of guts for them to do that...read the lyrics...

"Not Ready To Make Nice" Dixie Chicks
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

today i bought MORE stuff for camp!! I got a new swim suit, some more shorts, another jacket, and some storage boxes. i LOVE target, haha...
tomorrow im going to have lunch with Riley...and tomorrow night I plan on making the "Manatee Cookies" sarahs mommy got for me :) YAY!! and my friend Bryan might be coming over to assist me, i saw him yesterday for the first time in a YEAR, so we want to hang out ALL the time now hehe...this weekend im going to go to the Smithfield outlets with Carley to get another swimsuit *cause we have to have 2* and another pair of sandals for the summer...i dont want my Rainbows to get messed up! and they have this HUGE shoe store there, so i am sure to find the ones i want! i wanna find the ones sarah has cause they were way comfy, but who knows...haha... im watching tv with my mama, we were watching last comic standing...i just feel bad for some of these kids, they are not funny...all the ones i like got through to the next round ;) cause i am THAT awesome i suppose...now SVU is on, so i have to go haha...later days bloggers!

i love friends!!!!

2006-05-28T21:03:00.000-07:00

what an AWESOME awesome AWESOME awesome AWESOOOOME week.... did i mention that this past week was AWESOME?! ... well it was, haha...

i went up to maryland to visit little sarrrrah...i missed her too much! its crazy going from hanging out with someone every single day to not seeing them for like 3 or 4 weeks! gawsh, its hard!...well anyway, i wish i had taken more pics! grrrr, oh well next time i will!...i had soo much fun, we didnt really do any sightseeing in washington or baltimore or anything, but i honestly didnt care. we have so much fun just...doing nothing, that it doesnt even matter! ... we shopped mostly, at thrift stores...some outlets...then at bowie towne center, got some american eagle/gap "neccessities"... *ahem* and of course had so many inside jokes, that i can't even remember them all haha...goodness!!! we got to hang out with her mom a lot, her sister one day, and her boyfriend and his brother one day, all of which was awesome! i met sooo many new people this weekend, and i have discovered thats one of my new favorite things, meeting new people :) haha immmmmmma dork soooo... anyway...i had a fun little road trip, i think my voice is still recovering from belting out musical after musical after musical soundtrack!...I LOVE SINGING!!! gahhhh so yeah i leave for camp in t-minus 13 days!! woooooot!!! i am so excited to see what God has in store for this summer...and i can't wait to hang out with those little kids, its going to be amazing!...im sure after about 3 weeks i'll be like LITTLE KIDS ARE PSYCHO!!! but it will be FUN hahaha...cause im pretty psycho too...well im tired, so this entry isnt very detailed...and its short cause it ends HERE....lol JUST KIDDING bloggers, cause sooo many people comment *yeahhh right* im basically talking to myself here haha...which is fine, i do that all the time
anyway....here are some pictures from this weekend!....

@ ruby tuesdays!!

this pic was @ the thrift store...we were hiding from the "jungle survivor" guy...
ps: nice face sarah real nice haha

we were both a little freaked by this thing @ the dollar store....hmmm
i think our exact words were...what does that MEAN!?!

so...this was me between singing and driving...THAT was safe of me...but its "blue steel"...i mean come ON!...plus i was cheering myself up, leaving maryland to come back to NC...BOO...MD is MUCHO prettier!

thats about all the pics for now...im goin to bed nerds, leave comments!!! grrr
God Bless...and peaceouuuutttt...!

a change of pace and place

2006-05-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

well i've decided that i'm going to stop making this some kind of over melo dramatic blog...its time for a change...

i got home from school about a week ago...and I have to say it is pretty strange. I am slowly readjusting to everything and getting used to not being on my own. I keep praying for patience and to keep in mind that my parents are overjoyed for me to be home. I have to stop acting like a brat, the summer will be over before I know it. I should enjoy this time of not having classes...but I honestly can hardly function without my friends. I depend on them a lot more than I thought I did. I know that once we get back, it will be even better than it was this past semester. My friends at school now that I hang out with I just met basically two months ago and we became closer than anything. I hang out with carl and cameron like everyday and we always get lunch and dinner together...and sarah and I hang out like 24/7 basically, like attatched at the hip. She popped up in my life right when I was beginning to think that most of the girls at school were self absorbed. I thank God everyday for my friends now. I never have any drama to deal with, and if there is any sortof situation that needs to be worked out, we do it face to face without a go between. We aren't worried about stuff like that, it saves a lot of grief in the end. Anyway...I am going to go and finish my frappe' and go back to my house. I'll be updating soon with some pictures hopefully!!! :) a new entry to come soon, i promise!

God Bless!

2006-04-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

to live...
to
live
would
be
an
awfully
big
adventure.

awesome weekend

2006-03-19T22:44:00.000-08:00

this weekend = beyond fun with carley ...

like....

it was awesome .... the most fun i've had in a while. . . . .

downtown wilmington is amazing ... but when its with you best friend... its that much better.

it helped me forget.......everything that was bugging me .... basically

broken.

2006-03-10T18:05:00.000-08:00

useless by: imogen heap

I am a mirror, with no reflection
I am a razor, without my blade
I am the daylight, when the moon shines no
Who will want to make my sandcastle that’s already made

I feel so useless, do you

Speak to an ear deaf to my voice
Look through your fear, still blind to my way
I reach to hold you, but I don’t feel you there, do you
Even realize I'm here am I just wasting away?
No wasting away
Living, inside you play

My dying prayer, sealed in a scream
Unwelcome, and a conscious dream
I am your whore, without a name
I climb to fall, to begin again, to begin again
I climb to fall, suffer, hatred, deceit and pain
Anger, regret, loving in vain

I am an arrow, with no direction
My life your tarot, my picture your fate
I'm your becoming, so ill always be nothing
If i ever break away from you that day forth, you’ll be living
My hate
Oh God help his fate
I'll watch you, watch you suffocate

next...

2006-03-02T22:21:00.000-08:00

perpetually a winner of the 2nd place medal.....................

in everything......period.

too much...

2006-02-27T22:22:00.001-08:00

i give too much...
i expect too much...
i invest too much...
i try too much...
i think too much...
i care too much...
i mess up too much...
i pursue too much...
i know too much...
i feel too much...
i dream too much...
i assume too much...
i love too much...

when does it end...when is it just enough

small.

2006-02-24T13:16:00.000-08:00

look. examine. feel. live.

live.......to live, would be an awfully big adventure.

not the same

2006-02-24T11:03:00.000-08:00

i wish you would stay...but its not the same...just go.

just go.

2006-02-23T22:22:00.001-08:00

a ship with feelings...but no one to steer it

changes

2006-02-22T23:07:00.000-08:00

i remember this time last year...and how different everything was
the people i know now...were not in my life
and i started thinking yesterday
that the people that were in my life, this time last year
arent really in my life like they used to be
at the present

time has really flown, and i feel like im running as fast
as i possibly can and im still not gaining ground
it feels like im on this turntable with a broken record
under my feet.

i think that the more i try and figure out who i am
and what i want out of life
the less i actually find out...
i feel as if my life right now is abridged...but i want
to read the full story...i just cant seem to find it

isn't it odd when you all of a sudden realize
that the people you thought knew you the best
don't know you at all
and the people you thought you knew
were all of a sudden strangers

maybe college is just funny that way...
you get to meet so many amazing people
and you have the opportunity to make so many
life long - lasting friendships...
and they do, last for a while
and then, right when things are going great
a huge cloud moves out and blocks it all
but hopes are high that things will change
the only thing constant lately is
change

i am hoping that as i am growing older,
and as i realize how mature i have truly become
that i will be able to handle situations
more appropriately
i am tired of feeling like the little kid at the dinner table
that's not who i am, so don't treat me that way
for too long i've been pushed around
but, no more

i just for once would like some people
to think of me, just once
i know its a tough thing...but when
you are the family i have here...its nice to know that
when you need a shoulder to cry on, that i am here
and when i need a shoulder to cry on, or just a hitman
then you guys will be here...
not knowing that is the scariest feeling ever

today i felt void of emotion and true friendship
im not exaclty sure what brought it on
maybe it was the rain...
...or maybe its just my issues, overwhelming my senses.
whatever the case, i am going to fightback
the only thing worse than thinking about giving up
is...giving up

i am not giving up...i am changing...i am learning...
i am growing...

some people will never truly know how much they mean to us
until that cloud moves in....

opening night

2005-03-22T22:11:00.000-08:00

well, here it is...my first official post.
though i dont know anyone else with a blogspot, maybe i will aquire some comments...who knows.

tonite was intresting...had to work at the coffee house from 2pm-9pm...fun stuff...especially when you are the only one who does, well...anything there.

anyhow, as of right now i am going to bed...well, i think i'm going to watch "A League of Thier Own" and then go to bed...so glad i dont have school this week...its given me more time to do well...nothing haha.

viva la vie boheme means : live the bohemian life....gotta love RENT :-)
anyhow, goodnight all....parting is such sweet sorrow.

ps: i also have yet another live journal, if you would like to check it out go to....
my xanga site