and now for the weather..

ha..


and just like that, im over it.




you make me smile so much! thank the good Lord above for you my handsome man :)

astonishing.

i have never been broken up with....i am always the one who initiates it...always....and....the guy always ends up happy and i end up alone, a pititful mess to the end of a "relationship" ... i dont understand it, i dont know why relationships ruin me like they do...i dont know why i fall in love with any guy who pays me the least bit of attention....but every single guy ive dated has always ended up happier....and in a way i've always been bitter about it....just wondering, what happened....and why couldn't I, Jami, the Ex as it were, make it work......but i guess i shouldnt let it bother me. i mean, single-dom is something i've gotten to know very well, and i don't hate it... i just can't get my head around the fact that there is something, someone, somewhere, that has been going through the same thing, and i just want so badly to find that.....

not sure where that rant came from, but i feel better.

kinda.


--ciao, anyway.

THIS MODERN LOVE - bloc party.

To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
You've been trying to reach me
You bought me a book
To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
I've been paid
I've been paid

Don't get offended
If I seem absent minded
Just keep telling me facts
And keep making me smile
Don't get offended
If I seem absent minded
I get tongue-tied
Baby, you've got to be more discerning
I've known never known what's good for me
I will be yours

I'll pay for you anytime

You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away
You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Jump right on
Baby, you've got to be more discerning
I've known never known what's good for me
Baby, you've got to be more demanding
I will be yours

What are you holding out for?
What's always in the way?
Why so damn absent-minded?
Why so scared of romance?

This modern love breaks me
This modern love wastes me

Do you wanna come over and kill some time?
Tell me facts, tell me facts, tell me facts
Tell me facts
Throw your arms around me

luke and i were talking about this album tonight...i came back and this song was playing on my iTunes. good ol' bloc party, always there to make you feel good...lol, or more alone, whichever! :)

how bout that?

wow...has another year really gone by? man. its so weird. time just continues to move faster and faster the older we get it seems. i just finished with my exams for this semester, and now im getting ready for summer. another amazing summer working out in nature, in God's beautiful canvas...i am so excited for it. it'll be so amazing to not have to study all summer, with the exception of working my butt off (literally, and on my monologue).

this summer, i've decided that i am going to come back completely prepared for auditions. i am going to know this character (Jo March) inside and out, her whole life story. i will know all of her objectives for everything and her super objectives. my audition will be rehearsed in the camp office lobby area (where there is a piano) many, many times....i will walk in there with no regrets or know "what if i had practiced more". i want to give one of those auditions that will make them go, wow. she's got it. i've always just "winged" my auditions. i guess its because in highschool i never got any parts, but now where there are no politics...its just raw talent...i do get parts. and that frankly scares me. i want this part so bad i can taste it. i need to work on my movement and my characterizations. the biggest task is .... finding the Perfect monologue. i've got my song in the bag, no worries there. but the monologue is another thing. i talked to my favorite theatre prof. yesterday about monologues...and so that helped a Lot. now its just working on it, over and over and over again. i'll do that monologue a million times so that i know it backward and forward. i mean i know whatever happens, God has a plan for it...i just, i've never wanted a part so badly...!!!!!

sorry for that long shpeal....but i had to let out some frustrations!!!!!

ps: if you have any tips on a monologue, PLEASE let me know.

love always,

ciao!