i remember this time last year...and how different everything was
the people i know now...were not in my life
and i started thinking yesterday
that the people that were in my life, this time last year
arent really in my life like they used to be
at the present
time has really flown, and i feel like im running as fast
as i possibly can and im still not gaining ground
it feels like im on this turntable with a broken record
under my feet.
i think that the more i try and figure out who i am
and what i want out of life
the less i actually find out...
i feel as if my life right now is abridged...but i want
to read the full story...i just cant seem to find it
isn't it odd when you all of a sudden realize
that the people you thought knew you the best
don't know you at all
and the people you thought you knew
were all of a sudden strangers
maybe college is just funny that way...
you get to meet so many amazing people
and you have the opportunity to make so many
life long - lasting friendships...
and they do, last for a while
and then, right when things are going great
a huge cloud moves out and blocks it all
but hopes are high that things will change
the only thing constant lately is
change
i am hoping that as i am growing older,
and as i realize how mature i have truly become
that i will be able to handle situations
more appropriately
i am tired of feeling like the little kid at the dinner table
that's not who i am, so don't treat me that way
for too long i've been pushed around
but, no more
i just for once would like some people
to think of me, just once
i know its a tough thing...but when
you are the family i have here...its nice to know that
when you need a shoulder to cry on, that i am here
and when i need a shoulder to cry on, or just a hitman
then you guys will be here...
not knowing that is the scariest feeling ever
today i felt void of emotion and true friendship
im not exaclty sure what brought it on
maybe it was the rain...
...or maybe its just my issues, overwhelming my senses.
whatever the case, i am going to fightback
the only thing worse than thinking about giving up
is...giving up
i am not giving up...i am changing...i am learning...
i am growing...
some people will never truly know how much they mean to us
until that cloud moves in....
