and now for the weather..

ha..


and just like that, im over it.




you make me smile so much! thank the good Lord above for you my handsome man :)

astonishing.

i have never been broken up with....i am always the one who initiates it...always....and....the guy always ends up happy and i end up alone, a pititful mess to the end of a "relationship" ... i dont understand it, i dont know why relationships ruin me like they do...i dont know why i fall in love with any guy who pays me the least bit of attention....but every single guy ive dated has always ended up happier....and in a way i've always been bitter about it....just wondering, what happened....and why couldn't I, Jami, the Ex as it were, make it work......but i guess i shouldnt let it bother me. i mean, single-dom is something i've gotten to know very well, and i don't hate it... i just can't get my head around the fact that there is something, someone, somewhere, that has been going through the same thing, and i just want so badly to find that.....

not sure where that rant came from, but i feel better.

kinda.


--ciao, anyway.

THIS MODERN LOVE - bloc party.

To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
You've been trying to reach me
You bought me a book
To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
I've been paid
I've been paid

Don't get offended
If I seem absent minded
Just keep telling me facts
And keep making me smile
Don't get offended
If I seem absent minded
I get tongue-tied
Baby, you've got to be more discerning
I've known never known what's good for me
I will be yours

I'll pay for you anytime

You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away
You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Jump right on
Baby, you've got to be more discerning
I've known never known what's good for me
Baby, you've got to be more demanding
I will be yours

What are you holding out for?
What's always in the way?
Why so damn absent-minded?
Why so scared of romance?

This modern love breaks me
This modern love wastes me

Do you wanna come over and kill some time?
Tell me facts, tell me facts, tell me facts
Tell me facts
Throw your arms around me

luke and i were talking about this album tonight...i came back and this song was playing on my iTunes. good ol' bloc party, always there to make you feel good...lol, or more alone, whichever! :)

how bout that?

wow...has another year really gone by? man. its so weird. time just continues to move faster and faster the older we get it seems. i just finished with my exams for this semester, and now im getting ready for summer. another amazing summer working out in nature, in God's beautiful canvas...i am so excited for it. it'll be so amazing to not have to study all summer, with the exception of working my butt off (literally, and on my monologue).

this summer, i've decided that i am going to come back completely prepared for auditions. i am going to know this character (Jo March) inside and out, her whole life story. i will know all of her objectives for everything and her super objectives. my audition will be rehearsed in the camp office lobby area (where there is a piano) many, many times....i will walk in there with no regrets or know "what if i had practiced more". i want to give one of those auditions that will make them go, wow. she's got it. i've always just "winged" my auditions. i guess its because in highschool i never got any parts, but now where there are no politics...its just raw talent...i do get parts. and that frankly scares me. i want this part so bad i can taste it. i need to work on my movement and my characterizations. the biggest task is .... finding the Perfect monologue. i've got my song in the bag, no worries there. but the monologue is another thing. i talked to my favorite theatre prof. yesterday about monologues...and so that helped a Lot. now its just working on it, over and over and over again. i'll do that monologue a million times so that i know it backward and forward. i mean i know whatever happens, God has a plan for it...i just, i've never wanted a part so badly...!!!!!

sorry for that long shpeal....but i had to let out some frustrations!!!!!

ps: if you have any tips on a monologue, PLEASE let me know.

love always,

ciao!

its up to you new york, neeeewwww yorrrrkkkk

today has been odd. i've not been in necessarily a "bad" mood, but an "odd" mood. i have often wondered what brings on "bad moods". is it our lack of energy, lack of sleep, lack of motivation, or did someone just piss us off? its a mystery. everyone is entitled to a bad mood now and again, so i guess today was just my turn . . . i've been listening to really good chill music these days and not getting enough sleep, so that could also be a couple contributing factors. i have never been so anxious for a semester to end in my life. this semester has been complete hell (as far as the school work goes). next semester will be so much more chill and full of good grades, i hope for the best! this semester i've been so busy with everything in the theatre, that i've barely had time to pay attention to school work this year. i mean im not failing anything as of mid-term, but its not quite where i'd like it to be, that sorta thing. i just can't wait to be back at Camp, where i can where gym shorts everyday and just be outdoors...i just love that mountain.

in other news..
in my acting 3 (styles) class, we are presenting our shakespeare scenes tomorrow afternoon. my scene partner and i worked on the scene today, and it went quite well actually. we had our professor sit in on our rehearsal and give us some pointers. i was excited that she liked it so much...becasue usually she doesnt like much of what anyone does haha.

the musical forecast...
i am currently listening to some of my favorite music as of now...and i feel like i should share this amazing music :) if you want chill, jazzy, smooth study music/date music try Ray LaMontagne. if you want good rhythmic, low key, granola eating music, try Iron & Wine (a favorite of mine for a while). if you are in a angry love mood, or just feel like being artsy try Damien Rice. and last but not least, if you are feeling like some good ben folds meets iron and wine type music try, Justin & Tomek. oh wait, one more, for some straight chill music try Cary Brothers.


well im going to go "study" some spanish...when actually...im watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and having some organic late night snacks. ahhhh this makes my day seem so much better already.

stay classy - till next time,

ciao!

howsa bout them apples.

well i just read my latest post. and by latest i mean the post i put up about ehh 2 months ago? a lot has changed since that post. long story short i am no longer with the guy i previously mentioned, and i am currently sitting in my room next to my billie holiday poster, listening to pedro the lion, & having an organic granola bar and a wonderful smoothie from whole foods called "Naked". now get your little minds out of the gutter *shame on you*, its called "naked" because its completely all natural with 2 pounds of fruit in each bottle.

now that i have completely riveted you with the miniscule details of my life...

this past weekend and the coming weekend i am in a show called Scapin'. things are going really well, we've had standing ovations every night so far so we must be doing something right, eh?

this whole week is going to be so packed. monday night is the stage combat performance and show choir rehearsal, tuesday night is the show choir recital, wednsday night is the theatre banquet, and then every night after that til saturday is the show, and then strike on sunday...after that its nothing but exams. i also have 2 tests and a theatre history paper to write this week...wowzers. i just want to go ahead and thank in advance all the professors who like to just pack everything in, in two weeks. how delicious.

last night we had a really great cast party. we ended up watching a movie called Smoking Aces, it was really really weird...and somewhere between a glass of wine and one of the members of the cast getting sick (haha long story)...we ended up watching a charlie brown christmas and eating (by mistake) 2 year old peanuts. thats just how we party down here in the BC. but seriously, theatre parties don't get any more random.. woot.

anyhow, its laundry time finally...so i must attend to that crap and all its glory.

ciao!

well hey there..

so...its been quite a while since this ol' gal has blogged, i guess you would say. im not sure why, its not that i didnt have anything to say...i think i was just waiting for the perfect moment. im obvioiusly thinking that 2am probably isnt the best choice, but when you have to write...you have to write.

since i've last posted...a lot of things have happened.
-i have a wonderful boyfriend who just makes me smile all the time...he's my best friend, can't ask for more than that can ya?
-i got a pretty decent part in a Moliere' play called "scapin' " ... should be interesting..
-i am camp mundo vista's new assistant worship leader & co-counselor...very exciting.
-i've lost 5 pounds, somehow...without working out...im thinking it must be stress or something of the sort.

im sure there are other things im leaving out...but we'll leave it at that for now.

lately i've been having this overwhelming feeling that i cant describe. i think its pre-graduation anxiety...granted i have 2 more years before i leave this university...but i still can't help but wonder what will happen afterwards. i want so much to be involved with theatre as much as i can, i dont want to be one of these majors that ends up working at Sears or behind the counter of a grocery store...i think i would be the most depressed person alive if that were me. i've been talking with one of our newest professors a lot lately about things to do after school...when he first came to CU i couldn't stand the man, i thought he was arrogant and just rude...but after talking to him and working with him, he has taught me so much in such a short amount of time. this man is soo educated and so good with getting his point across, plus he's hillarious so that always makes for a fun conversation. and, the best part is, i can be completely honest with him...he's not one of those professors that i'm like afraid to say "hey, i dont want to do that"..you know? its hard to explain..but yeah. i've got this anxious feeling like i have all this stuff i want to do...but it all coincides with something else, or is just a very inconvenient time...i want to do "this" show but its during a rough semester...i want to do 2 shows, but "this" show is during "this" shows rehearsals...i mean just thinking about it makes me feel stressed...

just keep me in your prayers and thoughts...i've got a lot on my mind lately...and once again i have way to much on my plate with no clue how to accomplish it all.

until we meet again,
ciao mi bellas

-jami leigh.

ch-ch-changes

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around




happy new year. time to start fresh.

thanksgiving!

its SOOOOOOOOOOO great to be...

HOME! :)


HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!
eat lots o' TURKEY!

rain. . . ... another attempt at this "writing" thing....

its raining outside
and she doesnt want to go
she sits at the window
as the rain trickles down the glass,
watching the drops as they fall
fall, fall, fall..

she knows she should try
to step out of this barricade of lies
but theres so many things,
holding her back,
excuses,
keeping her from stepping out

who wants to run in the rain
who wants mascara running down their face
she already has that and she doesnt know why
her heart is crying out
she cant help but cry...
for redemption

she knows His name
He knows her love
even though she doesnt show it enough
she is accepted and it scares her to death
how could someone love her, in all of this mess

-jami leigh-

i just sortof started writing...and this is what came out

God doesnt expect us to be untarnished
the more we try to be this ideal supreme saint
the more we wander away from the real truth
trying to have the perfect this, the perfect that
its not worth it
his love for us is real
no matter our condition
no matter our sin
isnt it amazing..
sometimes i sit in bed and think
about his love and i cant hardly grasp it
the way i love my Lord is this
letting my praises leave my lips
all the way to my finger tips i love him with all i am
he loves us even when we dont love him
and when we try to be the things we're not
is he looking down on us thinking, poor child of mine
why do you strive so much to be this person
that isnt true that isnt real that isnt pure
why do we delay in this quest of whole heartedness
like if we let others in we aren't defending ourselves
what is there to defend against
the likelyhood of something hurting us is evident
the fact that we parade around under this shroud of
holier than thou attitudes, proclaiming we are followers
of the one true perfect and mighty God
king of kings, lamb of God, the good Shephard
if we would just allow him to guide us
would we be so quick to judge, of course not
we aren't to judge others, there is only one true judge of us all
and he sits at the right hand of our Holy Father
so in our virtuous quest to be pefection
i fear we have illuded to other non-belivers a different truth
that to love God one must be perfect, no don't let it occur
let us let love rule in our lives
let our love to others shine
predominantly
through out this rollercoaster,
life.

-jami

random..

my sister is gorgeous.

(these are pics i took this weekend, im a pretty good photographer, haha)













































this week has been good...lots of rain...pretty much uneventful...one test this week...we had a choir concert tonight, and my feet hate me right now from standing so long...a boy is taking me to see a movie this weekend, bout time! :)

hope your week is brighter and more eventful than mine!! haha

just amazing.

today i took a drive to my sisters. i was amazed at the colors of the leaves. the trees are turning from green to browns and yellows and reds, beautiful...God is quite the artist.

sometimes its just crazy to think about. the same God that makes the trees, and the sky, and this beautiful earth we live on...loves each and everyone of us. sometimes in our hectic schedules and busy lives we seem to take it all for granted. as i was driving today i almost started crying. thinking about how much i've changed over the past year and how God has really put some special people in my life. i'll admit, i still have some growing to do...but at least now i'm growing more in Him.

even in this huge world...God still loves little ol' me...and well, thats just awesome.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i found this online...i think you'll like it....




...and the heavens rained golden leaves upon the earth
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever walked slowly through autumn woods, allowing your spirit to absorb the soothing rustle of falling leaves? If you listen closely, you can hear them brushing against every leaf on the tree as they swirl past them on their journey to the earth below, almost as though they are exchanging final high-fives in passing. High-fives for the storms of spring they've endured together. High-fives for the summer shelter they've provided. And high-fives in celebration of the beauty of life they've been privileged to share and, in turn, been privileged to give in the golden hues of autumn color. And now, on God's silent cue, they've released themselves to a final journey where they will settle together upon the ground and converge in an earthy fragrance of life releasing itself back into the earth. Life releasing itself to provide strength for new life--the circle begun again as each new generation passes into it's own spring. Life reborn, a whispered promise by God in the soft, rustling sound of leaves falling upon the ground.

Father, the circle of life dances around us as the awe of autumn's beauty unfolds before our eyes. We are reminded that the beauty of our life lies not in the birth, but in the storms we've endured, the shelter we have provided; and the glorious color we at last bring forth in the years before our life is complete. Let us be blessed in knowing, however, that the greatest beauty of our life is the promise you whisper in our ear as our days begin to fade; the promise of the strength we leave behind for each new generation to begin anew.
(c) Shirley Jones - published in Prayers from St. Philips

here and gone...

Its almost november...wow....that means im THAT much closer to my birthday, oh yes. :)

Well this weekend has been a little bit sad, for me at least. Don't get me wrong, it was a good weekend. I've just been down. The play ended Saturday night. It didnt start out so well. First off, I have never messed up a dance move since the beginning of the run of the show. So of course, the night that my parents are there I mess up on a dance move. I'm sure no one noticed, but it still bugs me. Ending this show made me a lot more sad than I thought it would. This was my first lead role in a musical, so needless to say I was more than a little attatched to it. Polly was nothing like me but in a lot of ways she was. She wanted a boy friend, I mean who doesn't, right? haha...I will miss playing her night after night...that is for certain. When the curtain closed on for the last time, I couldn't help but feel like someone had just ripped my heart out. There were so many people that were ecstatic about it being over, and it just really hurt my feelings. I just wish people would take into consideration other peoples feelings sometimes. I mean, I know some people just think theatre majors are the biggest slackers on earth, which there are a lot of slackers in the theatre world...but for those of us who really develop our character and do extra rehearsals...i mean, when I got this role I thought they had made a mistake. But because of Polly I have learned that I really can get any part I want. Before this show I couldnt sing soprano notes with confidence, I certainly couldn't dance, and I wasn't sure of myself. Now I know I can do all of these things. Each night before the show I would find a place where no one else was, and I would just pray for the success and enjoyment of the show...and everytime I prayed I could just feel the Lord give me this release and my tension would go away. So...not to bore you guys...but I really do miss the show. In non-theatre terms, just imagine someone giving you your favorite thing in the world and letting you keep it for a short while...and taking it away again. Thats how it feels...but there are other auditions and more musicals to audition for...so things will get better.

I was going to audition for NCTC which is a Theatre Conference. If you make it through those auditions you go on to audition for SETC which is even bigger. It gives you oppurtunities to find summer work with other theatres instate or out of state. It would be a great oppurtunity. I had almost all the paperwork filled out...but I hadnt prayed about it. I've prayed about it a lot this past week...and that just isn't where the Lord is leading me right now...He has something else planned for me, and for some reason I am getting pretty scared that it might be mundo vista again...we shall see.

I hope you all are having a fantastic week. Also a little side note, I am taking suggestions for birthday gifts, if you have something you want to give me for the celebration for the day of my birth, I am more than happy to tell you whether or not it is acceptable :) mmmkay? haha..!

ps: i just got a 4.000 dollar scholarship, woop woop for free money's! :) ha

hey heres a video of the show! i got like about 5 sets of 30 second clips from a friend backstage and spliced them together!! enjoy :)



be forwarned...i cannot dance...i don't really like this clip and i got it mainly to see what i need to work on...3 of them being : my weight, my dancing, and how i carry myself on stage...this video was an eye opener :-/

AHHH!!!

its opening night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-pics to come soon!!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

just a lil postage...

fall break was nice...what there was of it. i got to go home for a couple days *pictures on flickr*

went to elon with the choir, gorgeous campus up there.

i slept in for the first time in a looonngg time today, it was amazing. we had tech rehearsal tonight, pretty much all night. it went pretty well, my costumes are retarded but its ok.

got some new music this weekend...im a little obsessed with it right now, some old, some new stuff...Amos Lee, Beck, Bright Eyes, Cary Brothers, Coldplay, Colin Hay, Damien Rice, Elliot Smith, Everclear, Fiona Apple, Imogen Heap, Iron & Wine, Jack Johnson, Joshua Radin, Keane, Nick Drake, Postal Service, Ray LaMontagne, The Shins, Sufjan Stevens, Snow Patrol, Athlete, Rufus Wainright, Remy Zero, Schuyler Frisk

also a little obsessed with"The last kiss" soundtrack....sooo good.

anyway have a great week everyone...i'm definitely gonna be busy this week..dress rehearsal every single night!

OPENING NIGHT is this FRIDAY!!! AHHHH!! Keep me in your prayers guys!

adios. & peaceout.

fall break...sortof

so i got home last night around 11pm-ish .. after rehearsal was over. i hung out with my mom for a bit..i missed that crazy woman!! :) this morning i went to town with my mom, my aunt laura, and baby cousin madison...we went to the j-ville mall and of course no shopping trip is complete with out a stop at target...i got a very cute dress from the mall today, along with the perfect shoes..a few movies i wanted...and some moccasins, random but whatever...!! haha

so i have to head back tomorrow already :( i really miss just being at home and not having to worry about a thing. no homework, no stress, and plenty of hugs! i miss those especially...you never really get hugs at school, but even if i just walk into the living room i feel like i just have to hug my mom and daddy...i just really missed them more than i realized. this summer taught me a lot about myself, but i really realized this summer how much i love and depend on my parents.

anyways...! tomorrow i plan on sleeping in and then having lunch with my mom, my dad, my aunt, baby madison, and my grandma howard...after that...its time to load up the car and head back to the creek...well i have to make a pit stop @ moka joes, but then its back to the creek haha..

we have a choir thing on saturday morning...and then sunday will be spent in costume under really hot stage lights preparing for our full run and tech rehearsal....THE ORCHESTRA IS COMING ON MONDAY!! oh man i can't wait for that...i get chills just thinking about it, just the sound...it just makes everything so much fuller and alive, than just a few voices and a piano.!! its definitely my favorite thing about being in a musical...i am starting to get nervous, which is strange because i've grown up on the stage, i don't get stage fright...ever...i think i am nervous mostly about this being my first leading role...i want everything to be perfect...i am just so excited/anxious/wannavomit/happy/nervous all at the same time!! its very...odd, to say the least. everything is going to be perect though, and i just need to trust in God, that everything will work out!

i can't wait...!!!!

i could be happy with you...if you could be happy with...me!

me and the boys





















a few pics, singin with the gals!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

see i am slowly getting my dances down! ... everything is really coming together...and last night we decided to surprise our director and do or onstage kiss, completely unrehearsed...it was SO hard to keep a straight face hahahaha...good times

hope you all are having a fantastic week!! mwah! :)

Come on down!!

its almost time for our first official run-thru of the show!!! i can't wait. last night we had all our dance moves perfect, and we added in some blocking and the director just loved it. im just sooo pooped from all these rehearsals. we have choir sectionals in like an hour, so i am thinking that a nap sounds good right about now. its a funny thing about naps..when i was a kid i remember crying everytime my grandma (God rest her soul) would make me chicken noodle soup and put on the "Price is Right", because i knew after i finished my soup and Bob announced the winner, it was time for the dreaded nap. Now i would love nothing more than for that to be the only upsetting thing in my day, haha. I would give anything to have someone make me chicken noodle soup and watch price is right with and fall asleep. :) Gracious...ain't it funny how much we change.

it's a beautiful life...woah oh oh oh :)

so lately i have been a lot less stressed. my dances are really coming along. and some people in this world really know how to make me feel better about myself :) im very excited about the fact that before this musical i couldnt even do a jazz square without falling over, but not i can do not only a jazz square, but i can also do pivot turns and shasee steps and even a mean
pahdahbooray (that is not even how you spell it, but i have no clue how its spelled haha!) if anyone does, please let me know!

Yesterdays rehearsal were a bit frustrating because some people just arent very focused or positive about what we are trying to do. i hate when people are negative nancy's about everything, try and be a positive PAM! the lack of energy is really obvious, and it really brings down the show as a whole. i am really hoping and praying that people get their acts together and stop putting this show on the back burner and realize that when they accepted their part, they accepted to put this show as their number one thing to be involved with...the complaining needs to stop.

in other news...my high notes, oddly enough, are really starting to get easier...which is real good news, because I am an alto, i've always been an alto, i was born an alto..in choir im a 2nd alto...but now, i can basically hit notes of a 1st soprano. not really sure how that happened, but i am not complaining!! i've been drinking tea and honey like its my job. and i've also started getting much more comfortable with belting out a Bflat above the staff, and learning how to support it...its kindof fun to sing that high, makes me feel powerful!...but i do miss belting out some stuff ;)

I haven't quite decided what I am going to do for fall break. well first off it isnt really even a break for me. we have to come back early for choir, and then the day after that I have a very very looonnnggg tech rehearsal for the musical. i can't believe its almost here!!! :) i am quite excited about it!

well...thats about all i've got for this post. things are going well! i hope you have a wonderful tuesday!!



here are a few pics!

me in my new sweater!


my sissy's little baby boy :)


me and sarrrrah


im sucha hottie! :) haha what can i say?


she is abusive, freako!