too much

lately i've been feeling a bit overwhelmed. unlike some people its not really classes that are overwhelming me, since i am a theatre major, that rarely happens. its the musical and people in general that are doing it to me...i've really been trying not to let things get to me, or bother me at all...but, it hasn't really been working. the musical is coming along...i just keep getting really tense with all the dancing and the high notes and the people in it. one thing i cannot stand is when people try and do someone elses job, that has bugged me since i was a little kid. i think sometimes because im so nice i just let people push me around, even when im older than they are...also something that has bugged me since i was younger. i think because i am the youngest, i've always had this inner-instinct to try and act older than i am, but i think it just comes off as immature to some people, which is not what i want. but anyway, thats a completely different story. the other things that has been on my mind lately is feeling like a bad friend. i personally don't think i am, but its hard to feel like a good friend when there are so many people around constantly telling me the opposite. getting mad at me for not hanging out with them all the time, and just really minute things like that. i hate when people take one little thing and turn it into something else...i mean, i am doing my best. i've got a lot on my plate right now, i just wish people would understand it. another thing i've decided is that, there are no guys at campbell that remotely interest me, or are interested in me...i mean there are a couple, but i, in no way, reciprocate the emotion. which has always been the case with me, when a guy is really into me, about 90% of the time, im not into him... when i look around at other people on campus, and there are definitely a few strange ones and they have a significant other...i mean i think im pretty attractive, and normal...so, what is the problem. it bugs me because, when i was sortof back-sliding, i had tons of guys that were interested in me...but now that im growing closer to God, there isn't one in sight...what is He trying to teach me? i hope its not patience, because with all the weirdos i have dated in my lifetime i am pretty sure that i've learned patience and how to be strong willed. so what is it? i pray about it nightly, for the Lord to send me someone...i know it'll happen in His time...and like i've said before...it will seem "last minute" to me, but God doesn't have a "last minute" he's known all along and whatever happens is His will...and i have to start trusting that more instead of thinking too much. i think too much.